Worn

The Christian band Tenth Avenue North has a song out that I hear frequently on K-LOVE called "Worn" and today I totally feel it.  Going from home to work to class and back home to do it all over again starts to wear on you after awhile.  I have been picking up extra shifts at work on the weekends to help bring in a little extra money while I am in school.  I thought I was going to get a day off this week, but my employer couldn't find anyone to work on Sunday, so it looks like I will be working all weekend which will have me working twenty-one straight days by the end of next week.  What I wouldn't give to just spend an entire day at home with nothing to do and no where to go.  I just feel so worn out and tired and just want to sleep in or not have a commitment.

On top of the fact that I am working all the time, so is my husband.  Needless to say, I don't really see a whole lot of him lately.  I know that we have to deal with this for right now, but it doesn't make it any easier.  It's almost as if we are fighting to stay afloat and my head is barely above water.  In a sense, we are doing pretty well in that we can maintain our lifestyle and still cut away at some of our debt while I work part-time and go to school.  However, we hardly see each other and sometimes the stress of everything that's going on makes things a little harder between us.  Not to mention, I am dealing with this really strong urge to have a baby when I clearly know now is not the right time.  I pray God helps me to deal with these feelings and helps Justin and I to keep our marriage strong through this trying time.

I will just keep remembering how it feels to lay on a warm beach with my chair in the edge of the water, my toes in the sand, and a great book in my hands.