End of a Love Story

Well, as I stated in my last post, I had to have more work. Since nothing is happening quickly with a hospital job, I sent my resume to a different department at work that can guarantee more hours and a more consistent work schedule. Needless to say, my boss was not to happy and when she asked me why I didn't tell her I needed more hours, I admit I got a little heated because I was talking to them about replacing my lost hours before my lady ever moved.

Anyway, today is my last day working with my sweet lady and I can honestly say I am heart-broken.  She is so sweet and has weezeled her way into my heart, but I have a feeling that she will be coming back to me in the department I am moving to.  As I said in my last post, I was applying to several jobs to try to get closer to full time.  At church on Sunday, I prayed about it and prayed again with my husband that afternoon. It is amazing to me to see God work and I will be starting full-time on Monday.

Now I am sure I will be complaining about this in a few weeks, but I think if I can manage to work through school, our financial stress will be significantly reduced and I may actually get to see my husband some.

Until next time!

Working Girl Blues

Struggling...that's is precisely what I am doing right now.  If anyone actually reads this blog, they know that I am currently in nursing school and trying to work at the same time.  It worked out really well last semester and I did well on my tests.  This semester, I am having a little more trouble with tests, but I don't really know if this has to do with work or with total lack of motivation to doing anything because it's summer.  Anyway, I digress.  I am at a place right now where my husband is tremendously over-worked and I am feeling guilty because we still have to have enough money to pay my student loans from my previous undergraduate degree. 

I had a really great situation worked out where I was working 25 hours a week and picking up weekend shifts here and there, but things have changed at my job.  My client has moved to Assisted Living and my hours have been cut dramatically.  Despite me begging my employer to replace my hours, this has not happened and I just can't work 6 hours a week and pay the bills.  So I have been applying to jobs at hospitals in the area with the hope of getting my foot in the door somewhere so that when I am a nurse, I will pretty much be guaranteed a job...not to mention it would be nice to be on my own health insurance so that come February I won't have to worry about adding myself onto Justin's.  I have applied for several jobs and heard nothing back as of yet.  I guess my point in writing tonight is for support and in an effort to get prayers from wherever I can.  I am praying that I will get a job that will work out with my school schedule and allow me work close to full-time.  If this were to work out, Justin could work just two jobs instead of three and I would feel better because I would be making more money to contribute to our home.

 Anyway, I guess I just needs prayers that a job will come through for me.  I need something to work out so that I can get on the ball making some money and getting health insurance.

First Day of Summer

Wow, so can I say again what a slacker I am?  Seriously, I am going to make an effort to be more diligent with my blogging.  On a different note, on this the first day of summer, I decided to do some summer cleaning.  Do you ever look around your house and think to yourself, "Man, I am living in a pig sty?!" 

 Well I find that on occasion this happens to me.  Life gets a little crazy, school is making you want to pull your hair out, your husband is working days on end, and things just seem to pile up.  So this afternoon, I got off work and let my puppies out to enjoy the beautiful summer sunshine.  Then I got out my cleaning bucket and got to work.  I didn't clean as vigorously as I normally would because I have some free time this weekend and decided to do it well and right rather than rushing through to get everything done before I go to bed.  I must admit that I LOVE the smell of Gain laundry detergent and am totally pumped about all the cleaning products lately smelling like Gain.  I used my Mr. Clean with Gain cleaner this afternoon and am thoroughly enjoying my entire house smelling like a load of laundry.

Needless to say, with Justin at work, my list of tasks is quite long as I like to keep myself busy...otherwise I find that the saying, "Idle hands do the devil's handiwork," is quite true and I end up either talking to myself too much or spending money that I simply don't have.  So while the hubby is at work, I will be cleaning, reading for school, and making some super cute Mr. and Mrs. pillows for my bed (photos to follow).

Aging...The Less Gracious Side

Something happened today and, to be honest, it blew my mind.  While in school, I am working part-time as a sitter with an elderly woman.  She is by far one of the sweetest people I have ever met and I have known quite a few wonderful people in my life.  I am with her pretty frequently and have gotten quite attached to her.  Considering I no longer have living grandmothers, she has almost become a stand in and I find taking care of her enjoyable...it's what I would do if my grandmothers were still here and needed me.  She is in the process of moving to a facility where they will be able to provide her with more care and I am going with her, but won't be with her as much as normal.

In talking with her family today, I got the strange feeling that they are giving up on her.  I mean, I get that she has a doctor in the family and I can totally respect that.  Basically, I was told that they didn't feel the need to freak out or worry if she went a day or two without her medications because she is almost at the end and really what good are they going to do anyway.  The thought that immediately crossed my mind was, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME??"  This woman has battled and beat breast cancer and is now dealing with a progressive disease that affects her motor skills and speech.  I will admit that I have noticed the progression of her disease in the few months that I have been with her, but to be 91-years-old, she is doing pretty dang well if you ask me. 

Who cares if she can't control her bladder and doesn't realize she has spilled apple sauce on her shirt.  Does that mean she is knocking on death's doorstep??  Maybe I have gotten too close and am entirely too attached to this woman, but to say that she is about to die and that you will be lucky to have her at Christmas seems a little drastic when I sit with her every day and we have normal conversations and eat lunch together and generally enjoy each other's company.  Being with her every day gives me insight into how she is and how her health is treating her.  BEGIN RANT:  I would say that if you want to start making predictions on when she will be leaving this Earth to be with her Maker, then maybe you should be around more than once a week, month, or year to see how well she is really doing to be 91-years-old. END RANT!

Let us not write off our aging population just because they are not doing as well as they used to be.  Don't assume someone is dying in the near future just because they are going through the normal process of aging and progressing a little more quickly than we are comfortable with.

Jesus Take The Wheel

Here lately, I have been getting a little down on myself.  For no reason in particular other than the fact that my life is not quite where I expected it to be at 25-years-old.  Now, the Christian girl in me keeps telling myself that God has a plan for me and I firmly believe that, but on days when I notice that other people are getting what they want, I don't feel so sure.  The other day I had a total melt-down and forced my husband to take me out for retail therapy all because a girl I went to high school with graduated law school.  Do I know if that's what she expected out of her life? NO!  Do I know if she is truly happy with where her life is headed? NO!  I was being absurd.

Sometimes it is so hard to just let go and let God!  I like to think that I live by this mantra, but sometimes it is really a struggle.  In my heart, I know that God has already seen my life and had it planned out since before I was even thought of, but there are days when I wish I could just understand God's plan.  I am one of those obnoxious people that needs to know now.  I like to know how things work and why they work the way they do.  There are times I feel like I would like to see the future, but then I remind myself that power would not always be so great.

So I am writing today in an attempt to let go and let God.  I am trying to enjoy today and not wish my life away just so I can be at the place I think I want to be.  Is the grass always greener on the other side?  Or does it just look that way from over here?